RNC: "Retarded, Nitwits, and Crass"

I've never registered Republican (excuse me while I spit). I was Independent for years, switched to Democrat last year so I could vote Obama in the primary. But somehow I've had the luck to be picked up by the Republican National Committee (RNC) for a mass mailing of a push-poll. My opinion, it seems, will count as "representative of all Republicans living in your district."

Oh, goody.

Old Story

A quick Google search shows me that the RNC has been sending out these polls for some time: at least in 2003, 2007 (a lovely presentation, that) and 2008. I didn't find any links to positive reactions to the poll, but these negative ones are kind of fun to read.

Sleazoid Package

This is such a sleazoid package. First off, the envelope is made up like one of those property-tax scam letters, blazoned "Official Business" and "To Be Opened by Addressee Only Under Penalty of Law."

In the cover letter, Michael Steele (or his publicist) does his level best to scare the bejabbers out of me. Sample phrases: Democrats have absolute power in Washington, D.C. ... Harry Reid, one of the most ruthless, liberal partisans in Congress ... Oh RNC, save me from da ruthless liberal! Hey, wait a minute, isn't "ruthless liberal" an oxymoron? ...the gun-grabbers and red tape regulators are emboldened (time to bury my collection of AK-47s in the back yard).

Then he gets down to the lying part: President Obama embraces a socialist economic philosophy... Barney Frank has proposed a massive 25% cut in national defense spending... Democrats plan... to shut down conservative talk radio ... permanently destroy the 2nd Amendment...

Stop Beating Your Wife

Probably the biggest lie in this package is the frequently-repeated insistence that this poll is for "guidance" and without good data from it, "our agenda will be incomplete and our ability to spread the message... will be dramatically weakened." How do I know that that's a lie? Because of the way the questions are phrased. Here's just a small sample:

• Should the Democrats' so-called Stimulus Bill with its wasteful pork-barrel spending be repealed?
• Do you oppose government-sanctioned euthanasia?
• If Barack Obama tries to gut the USA PATRIOT Act and other important laws that promote the safety and security of all Americans, should Republicans in Congress fight back?

Oh, no, I'm for wasteful spending, euthanasia and gutting the safety of all. Come on, this is about as much a "poll" as the North Korean elections have a "ballot." Do you want Kim Jung Il, yes or yes? If the RNC bothers to tally the responses they are wasting their party's money even more egregiously than they did by sending this piffle to me.

I'm going to mark it carefully "No" in all columns and send it back, not because I think they'll actually count any of the votes, but simply because it will cost them postage on the Business Reply Envelope they provided.